Friday, June 12, 2009

The Anti-Soother

Doug-

There is a new development in our home that is extremely frustrating to me. Let me begin by explaining one thing that is different about having twins: feedings and bedtime are much more complicated and it really helps to have two players. I didn't realize this was different until we were talking to some friends that have a similarly aged baby. I asked the father if he participated in most feedings and he said, "no, it's not really a two person job." And I think he's right, when you have one baby the second person is kind of superfluous. But with twins, it's not. In fact, feeding two babies is pretty hard if you're by yourself because you need to burp both at the same time or feed one while burping the other or some combination of these activities. It's quite a juggling trick. Putting them down to bed is even harder when you throw in soothing and swaddling; it really is a two person job.

Now Sandy of course is by herself during the day and she has to feed the girls three times and also handle naps all by herself. It's really very impressive how well she does it, you'd think she had four hands or something. Nonetheless, she really appreciates having a second set of hands (mine) to help with the first and last feedings of the day, especially at bedtime. Unfortunately, for some reason we do not understand, lately I seem to have become the ...

ANTI-SOOTHER

That's right, if you have a perfectly happy baby at bedtime, just give her to me and I will manage to make her cry in no time, by doing nothing more than just holding and trying to burp her or soothe her to sleep. It works every time. Quiet baby, falling asleep, give to Dad, crying starts. Give her back to Sandy, and voila ... no more crying. And we can't figure out why, because I do everything just like Sandy does (minus the boob part). It's not like I'm poking them or bending their elbows the wrong way or anything; I just seem to exude an anti-soothe vibe. Here is a visual demonstration:

Daddy is going to soothe you:



No, Mommy is going to soothe you:



Now I joke about this, but it actually is extremely frustrating right now because I feel like I don't really help with bedtime. Right now I'm kind of a placeholder. Sandy gives me Tava while she swaddles and soothes Analee. I walk Tava around and try to keep her from completely melting down until Analee is down, and then I hand her off to Sandy to finish up. It's pretty pathetic.

But they do laugh more with me. I guess it works like this:

Mom = Nourishment + Comfort + Safety.

Dad = Comic relief.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Family: Sure enjoyed the last
two blogs and pictures. Great ones
of John & Diane and their twins
plus your Mom looks good and
enjoys holding and playing with
girls. Things are good in Denver.

Aunt Carole

Heather Marie said...

Aw, hang in there Doug! That does sound tough. I loved the photo illustration of your point!

Freiburger Family said...

Have you tried taking a shirt that Sandy was wearing that day and has her scent on it and placing it on the front of you and over your shoulder? Then hold the baby on that side so when you hold them, they actually smell their mother. For fussy babies, we would sometimes take a shirt Meaghan had worn the day before and place it under the baby as they slept. Again, the scent of mom is an amazing thing.

Sandy and Doug said...

That's a good idea Joe, I'll give it a try.

Elisa & Adam said...

Doug, I've seen you with those babes - you're great. Just hang in there! (comic relief, huh? that's pretty funny!)